House: face cam
Wanda: Look, we've all been there, right? Letting our fear and anger get the best of us, intentionally expanding the borders of the false world we created.
SWORD: Response base, field
Agent: Move it! Move it!
House: Wanda and Vision’s bedroom
Tommy: Mom, are you coming down soon?
Billy: Mom, our game is freaking out.
Tommy: Is she asleep?
Wanda: Mommy's not sleeping, honey. She's just resting her eyes.
Billy: Mom, my head feels weird. It's, like, really noisy. I don't like it.
Wanda: Resting her eyes.
House: face cam
Wanda: As punishment for my reckless evening, I plan on taking a quarantine-style staycation. A whole day... Just to myself… That'll show me.
House: Wanda and Vision’s bedroom
Wanda: Oh.
House: living room
Tommy: I got to it first!
Billy: You always get to it first!
House: face cam
Wanda: Yeah, I'm not sure what that's about. It's probably just a case of the Mondays. Am I right?
SWORD: Response base, field
Agent Rodriguez: Lucky for us, she pumped the brakes.
Tyler: Yeah. I feel very lucky. What's happening with the broadcast?
Agent Rodriguez: Dead air. The signal's gone.
Tyler: Make sure the team has everything they need. We launch today.
Agent Rodriguez: Yes, sir.
Circus
Strongman: You're the new clown? At least you're already in makeup. You're late for rehearsal with the escape artist. Come on.
Circus: face cam
Darcy: Yeah, I'm not great at this gig, I gotta be honest. It doesn't really speak to my skill set. I put in for the bearded lady, but this alabaster complexion wasn't fooling anyone.
Circus
Darcy: Can I help you, creeper?
Vision: You don't remember me from last night? We locked eyes. There was a unspoken understanding.
Darcy: Um, hard pass.
Vision: No, wait. Wait up.
House: living room
Wanda: Have you seen your dad?
Tommy: Um, no.
Billy: Do you wanna go look for him?
Wanda: Well, if he doesn't wanna be here, there's nothing I can do about it.
Billy: Hey, Mom, last night, Uncle P said that thing about re-killing Dad?
Wanda: Don't believe anything that man said. He is not your uncle.
Tommy: Who is he?
Wanda: Here's the thing, boys… I'm your mom. And as such, you were counting on me to have all the answers, right? Well, I don't. I have... No answers. Zip. Zero. Zilch… Nada. Niente. I'm starting to believe that everything is... Meaningless… You're welcome to draw your own conclusions, of course, but that's just where I'm at.
House: face cam
Wanda: Okay, so maybe I went a little too dark there, but they'll be fine. Vision is made of vibranium. They literally inherited tough skin.
House: living room
Wanda: Hi, Agnes. Come on in. I'd get up, but I just don't want to.
Agnes’s house: face cam
Agnes: But I think I got there in the nick of time 'cause she was one split end away from cutting her own bangs.
House: living room
Agnes: Hey, boys, why don't we give your mom some me time?
Wanda: Agnes, are you sure?
Agnes: Oh, abso-positively. Come on, let's go, guys.
Tommy: Do we have to, Mom?
Wanda: Mm-hmm.
Billy: Someone needs to be here to take care of you.
Agnes: Aw!
Wanda: Boys, I'll be fine. Just go with Agnes.
Agnes: I promise I won't bite. Mm.
Agnes’s house: face cam
Agnes: I actually did bite a kid once.
House: living room
Wanda: Agnes, you are a life-saver.
Agnes: Aw.
Wanda: Is there anything I can do for you?
Agnes: You know what? I do have a suspicious mole on my back that I just can't see. Ah. Boundaries. I get it. Say no more. All right, gentlemen, let's keep it moving. You know what? If one of you two could take a quick look, I'd appreciate it. It's right here above my...
Journalist: … Delivering flawless offensive plays right out of the gate. The final goal scored with a remark...
House: face cam
Wanda: I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine… I'm fine.
Into the woods: road
Jimmy: Darcy made it through that last firewall, all right.
Monica: Oh, what'd she find?
Jimmy: R and D reports. All on the same project. Code name, Cataract… Hayward wasn't decommissioning Vision. He was trying to bring him back online. Nothing worked until...
Monica: Wanda stole Vision's body.
Jimmy: That's why he was so focused on tracking Vision inside the Hex.
Monica: Hayward wants his sentient weapon back.
Jimmy: Someone has to tell Wanda.
Monica: Look. There they are.
Woods
Monica: Major Goodner.
Goodner: Captain Rambeau.
Monica: This is Agent Woo.
Goodner: Nice to meet you.
Monica: Thank you so much for coming. My mother would appreciate your loyalty.
Goodner: She's not the only one we're loyal to, Captain… Let me show you what we brought you… Did we get your specs right?
Monica: She's perfect.
Circus
Vision: Hello? Excuse me. Uh, you tried to help me.
Darcy: Doubtful. I'm notoriously self-involved.
Vision: No, no, no. Please. Just hear me out. All right… I believe that you were part of a team monitoring a supernatural anomaly. And now... Well, you're in it.
Darcy: Fine. I'll go out with you, but I'm ordering the lobster.
Vision: Oh, no. Look, that mime... His tray is getting too heavy.
Darcy: Oh, your bad back! Ooh. Whoa! Okay. Ooh. Whew.
Vision: Awake?
Darcy: Ooh, uh, yeah.
Vision: All right?
Darcy: Ooh. Oh, hello, self. You know, part of me secretly wanted a guest spot on the show, but seriously, that sucked.
Vision: Look, uh, what is your name? Your real name?
Darcy: Darcy Lewis.
Vision: Dr. Darcy Lewis. I intercepted a communication regarding your work.
Strongman: Hey, the lions just got off stage. You're up.
Vision: Dr. Lewis, I have questions.
Darcy: I have answers. Uh... Ooh, should we take this convo on the road?
Vision: Excellent.
Strongman: You two are up.
Vision: No, I'm so sorry. Doctor and I have a prior engagement.
Strongman: She's not going anywhere… Oh, no! My nose!
Darcy: Sorry.
Vision: Come on.
Darcy: Oh. Excuse me.
Strongman: Where do you think you're going? Get back here!
Van
Darcy: To your house, I assume?
Vision: Dr. Lewis, my questions, are my children safe?
Darcy: That I don't know.
Vision: Who is that imposter, Pietro?
Darcy: Beats me. A-ha! Let's roll.
Vision: Great.
Strongman: Get out of there.
Vision: Sorry. Can't hear you.
Strongman: What?
Vision: Drive! I'm so sorry. We were double-booked by the agents.
Strongman: You got to be on stage.
Vision: Step on it, Darcy!
Strongman: What are you doing?
Vision: I can't hear you.
Strongman: You get back here! I need you!
House: face cam
Wanda: I don't understand what's happening. Why it's... Why it's all falling apart and why... I can't fix it.
Cameraman: Do you think maybe this is what you deserve?
Wanda: What? You're not supposed to talk.
Advertise
Announcer: Feeling depressed? Like the world goes on without you? Do you just want to be left alone? Ask your doctor about Nexus… A unique anti-depressant that works to anchor you back to your reality… Or the reality of your choice… Side effects include feeling your feelings, confronting your truth, seizing your destiny, and possibly, more depression. You should not take Nexus unless your doctor has cleared you to move on with your life… Nexus, because the world doesn't revolve around you… Or does it?
Agnes house: living room
Agnes: Okay, who's thirsty? Some bevs… Penny for your thoughts.
Billy: I like it here.
Agnes: Oh, good… Is it because Señor Scratchy is such a good listener?
Billy: No. It's because it's quiet… You're quiet, Agnes… On the inside.
Tommy: Do you think our mom is okay?
Agnes: Oh, for sure! Oh, you don't have to worry about your mom. Your mom can do anything. She's supermom.
Agnes’s house: face cam
Agnes: Ralph says I sugarcoat things. But you try telling a 10-year-old that his mother is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Woods
Soldier: Final checks.
Goodner: We're all set, Captain.
Monica: Thank you.
Jimmy: Darcy's not here to give her stamp of approval.
Monica: I know. She's in there and I'm gonna go get her out… It's our last shot, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Godspeed, Captain… How much faith you have in this thing?
Goodner: It's our most heavily-armoured space rover. She's gonna sail right through. Unharmed… Capcom, check.
Space rover
Monica: Good, check.
Woods
Goodner: On your order, Captain.
Space rover
Monica: Moving out.
Woods
Goodner: Contact in five, four, three... Two, one.
Jimmy: What happened to sailing right through?
Goodner: The density is matching her.
Space rover
Monica: I'm close. It's gonna give!
Woods
Goodner: The structural integrity is failing. It's disintegrating.
Jimmy: No, it's being rewritten. Monica, get out of there!
Space rover
Jimmy: Do you copy, Monica? Monica! Get out of there! Monica!
Woods
Jimmy: Get a medevac, now! Watch out! No. No.
Monica: I can get through.
Jimmy: Monica! No!
Force field
Maria: No, I can't. I can't leave Monica.
Monica: Mommy, it's okay. I can stay with Grandma and Pop-Pop.
Maria: There's no way I'm going, baby. It's too dangerous.
Monica: Mom, maybe I could fly up and meet you halfway?
Man: Only if you learn to glow like your Aunt Carol.
Maria: And you were the most powerful person I knew.
Dr. Harley: Your mom, she died, honey.
Tyler: She was truly an inspiration. Sorry.
Monica: No!
Carol: Your mom's lucky. When they were handing out kids, they gave her the toughest one.
On the road
Vision: So, Wanda killed me?
Darcy: Yes, but it's not that simple. You asked her to do it.
Vision: Why would I have done that?
Darcy: To save the universe. Well, half of it.
Vision: Did it work?
Darcy: It did… Until the bad guy rewound time and killed you himself. There are a few extra steps, but to set up the context...
Vision: I came back and died again.
Darcy: And she had to watch… Oh, man, another red light? It's kinda overkill out in the sticks here, don't you think?
Vision: Yes.
Street: face cam
Vision: I believe... I think that Wanda is creating these impediments to stop me returning home.
Van
Darcy: Also, it never rains in Westview, right? Whoa!
Street: face cam
Vision: I'm not amused.
Van
Darcy: Yeah, great. Just take your time, fellas.
Vision: So if I understand correctly, my original code dates back to an AI called Jarvis? But my corporeal form was born of Ultron's plan for global genocide?
Darcy: Correct-o.
Vision: What am I now?
Darcy: Honestly, I'm a STEM type of lady, so I thought she just flipped a switch on your head and brought you back to life, but what I don't get is why you can't leave the Hex… What I do know is I've been watching WandaVision for the past week and the love you two have is real… You belong together.
House: living room
Monica: Wanda? Wanda!
Wanda: What are you doing?
Monica: Wanda...
Wanda: How did you get in here?
Monica: Listen to me. This whole thing is about Vision.
Wanda: Get out of my house.
Monica: Hayward was trying to bring him...
Wanda: Don't talk to me about that. I don't wanna hear about it.
Garden
Wanda: The drones, the missiles. Pietro?
Monica: No, wait, Pietro, no, no, no, that wasn't us.
Wanda: All you do is lie!
Monica: The only lies I've told are the ones you put in my mouth.
Wanda: Careful what you say to me.
Monica: Do it, then… Take me out… See, see? That's where you and Hayward differ. He's gonna burn Westview to the ground just to get what he wants. Don't let him make you the villain.
Wanda: Maybe I already am.
Monica: I'm not afraid of you, Wanda. I lost the person closest to me, too. The worst thing I can think of has already happened to me and I can't change it. I can't undo it. I can't control this pain anymore. And I don't think I want to, because it's my truth… Wanda, you have to...
Agnes: Young lady, I think you overstayed your welcome. Poor Wanda's been through enough.
Monica: This doesn't concern you. Wanda...
Agnes: Run along, dear.
Monica: Wanda, you have to take it down.
Wanda: No… Don't make me hurt you.
Agnes: All right.
Road
Man: Okay, let's wrap it up, guys.
Van
Darcy: Yes, finally… Oh, come on! Kids? What's next, puppies?
Street: face cam
Vision: I had no idea how much Wanda had endured before coming to Westview, how much we both had, I guess. Though I can't remember it… For me, it feels like it happened to someone else, you know? But for her... It's mere weeks ago… What am I doing here, sitting, talking to you when I should... This is... This is absurd. I need to get to my wife.
Van
Darcy: So I'll just meet you there, then?
Agnes’s house: living room
Agnes: Oh, here. Would you like a cup of tea, hon?
Wanda: Sure. Thank you, Agnes.
Agnes: Okay. Sit down. Be right back with that. Aw. Ay, ay, ay.
Wanda: Where are the twins?
Agnes: Oh, they're probably just playing in the basement.
Agnes’s house: basement’s stairs
Wanda: Boys?
Agnes’s house: basement
Wanda: Tommy? Billy?
Agnes: Wanda, Wanda. You didn't think you were the only magical girl in town, did you? The name's Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you, dear.
Who's been messing up everything?
It's been Agatha all along
Who's been pulling every evil string?
It's been Agatha all along
She's insidious
Ha-ha!
So perfidious that you haven't even noticed
And the pity is
The pity is
Pity, pity, pity, pity
It's too late to fix anything
Now that everything has gone wrong
Thanks to Agatha
Ha!
Naughty Agatha
It's been Agatha all along
Agatha: And I killed Sparky, too.
Agatha’s house
Pietro: Snooper's gonna snoop.
